Nicknames On Player's Jerseys? Not A Good Idea

This team (Harlem Globetrotters) might fit in quite nicely with the new NBA.

With all of the in game antics and pre-game stories, the NBA is beginning to look more like the WWE (Pro Wrestling) than professional basketball.

Let me be clear about this; I for one am totally against the NBA allowing players to wear their nicknames on the back of their jerseys. I don’t think it adds any more fun to the game than the game itself. Who really cares that on the back of Kevin Durant’s jersey, you can see the word “Durantula”? In my opinion, this is nothing more than a marketing ploy; A way to drum up some more money through merchandising. Think about it, will you be able to relate to a player or enjoy his game more by seeing CP3 instead of Paul? How would that have worked when Shaq was playing? You’d have one jersey saying “The Big Aristotle”, another saying “Shaq Diesel” just to name a couple. With this move, it looks like the NBA is getting more about marketing and money than the game itself. Wasn't it just 2 years ago that Ron Artest had to legally change his name to "Metta World Peace" just so that “World Peace” would show up on the back of his jersey? We all thought he was trying too hard to get attention. He was talked about as if he were a real quack for the move. Now it looks like he was an innovator.

The biggest problem I have with this is the fact that the NBA is starting to look more and more like the WWF (or WWE as it is now referred to). Instead of it being about basketball, there’s a bunch of story lines that are being sold. You can’t watch a playoff series without the producers trying to figure out some way to make the match up look better. “In tonight’s match-up we have Blake Griffin and the Los Angeles Clippers vs. Z-Bo and the Memphis Grizzlies. These two teams genuinely hate each other as their games are always very physical. The last time Griffin and Z-Bo met, they had to be pulled off of one another”. Or how about last year’s story line of “Carmelo Anthony and the New York Knicks vs. K.G. and the Boston Celtics? The last time these two teams met, K.G. told Melo that Melo’s wife tasted like cheerios”. I mean, all we’re missing is Jimmy Hart with his bullhorn standing next to the scorer’s table. Right after the National Anthem, we can have Michael Buffer announce the teams. I understand marketing and selling a game, but there is a point that you should not go beyond. 

That’s not to mention the hypocrisy of it all. Players are supposed to dress up like businessmen when doing anything related to basketball. That includes coming to the arena, leaving the arena, doing interviews, even sitting on the bench when you’re not dressed for a game. If a player doesn't dress according to dress code, he’s hit with a fine. The NBA is selling itself as a business and they want their product (players) looking like businessmen. Now all of a sudden, their supposed to wear their nicknames on the back of their jerseys? Are Kevin Garnett’s checks made out to “The Big Ticket” or are they made out to Kevin Garnett? If it’s business, keep it business. Players are expected to do so, so I think the NBA should do so as an entire league. To discipline players for not abiding by the rules and then bend some of the rules that the league came up with purely for profit is nothing short of hypocrisy.

From a fan’s perspective, it’s unnecessary. A fan can go to the NBA store on line right now and get any customized jersey for any team. That means I can order a customized San Antonio Spurs jersey with the number 21 on it and have them print “The Big Fundamental” right on the back. I don’t need Tim Duncan to actually wear it in a game.

Now we have to look at the fire-storm this would cause. Blake Griffin is one of the biggest names in the NBA right now. He has no nickname and from what I can tell, he isn't looking for one. The same thing goes for Pau Gasol, Tony Parker, Russell Westbrook and a few other stars. Can you imagine guys not going out looking for nicknames just to have on the back of their jerseys if this happens? As a matter of fact, most guys have nicknames in their locker rooms. Listen to half the guys do an interview after a game and refer to some of their teammates and you’ll hear a bunch of nicknames thrown around. Half the time I can’t figure out who was being mentioned because I don’t know that player’s locker room nickname.

Dwight Howard tries to fit all his nicknames on one jersey.

On second thought, I think it would be quite interesting to see the outcome of this new nickname thing. Imagine after every team has adopted this new fad, you'd get almost every player in the league trying to get nicknames. Because hey, it would be unfair to allow LeBron James to wear "King James" on the back of his jersey and make Steve Blake wear "Blake" wouldn't it? Now that’s where the fun comes in. That’s when we get to see guys on the bench who never play with the name “Little C-Style” on the back of his jersey. Imagine my delight when the NBA finds out that “C-Style” is short for Crip Style. I can already see the NBA trying to put a spin on it saying it means "Crazy Style". Or how about some of those real heavy metal fans coming in with “Satan” on the back of his jersey? I think that’s something that’ll really make the fans root for that guy. I can just see it now, a 6’10” 260 pound Goliath with the name “Cupcake” or “Sweet Cheeks” on the back of his jersey. That might sound a little over the top but with the NBA's open support for the gay community, who knows?

While they’re at it, why don’t they invite the Harlem Globetrotters into the league? It’s become a circus of a game already with the biggest stars flopping around on the court and no defense allowed. With athleticism being everything and fundamentals being hard to come by, why shouldn't the Globetrotters get some of that money? They can invite one really good "And 1" street ball team and we’d have 32 teams of really athletic basketball players that can put the ball in the hole. Sounds like a good time to me. That's what the league has come to, how many points a guy can score and how many spectacular plays can be made.

We would now see hanging from the rafters of a stadium retired jerseys that say, “The Cannibal” and “The Princess” next to “Jordan” and “Rodman”. We could mark this as the day the kids took over. Quite a few of today's stars seem to be more worried about what market they play in as opposed to just being able to play. There's not the same level of loyalty to the fans and the cities. It's all about where I can sell the most jerseys and get more games televised.

The NBA’s greed is really starting to tear the league apart. With the rise of ticket prices and the ridiculous price for a hot dog, it's getting harder for a family to go to a game. The deal that Time Warner made with the Los Angeles Lakers was ridiculous especially since the fans have to pay for it (Yes I did notice that little $2.00 charge under "Regional Sports Fee" on my DirecTV bill... every month). But hey, the Lakers made billions.

I think there is always room to improve, but I think the NBA is looking in the wrong area on this one. Let the players play and let the fans wear the cool nicknames on the backs of their jerseys.

If the NBA determines that they really want to do this, why not leave it to the All-Star games? Those games are just for fans and haven't been competitive in years anyway.